Thursday, 26 February 2015

Slow Down and Enjoy the Moment

How I became a modern day Hippie or something close to it - I LOVE being a Hippeo! Okay love is a strong word- Let’s just say being a hippie doesn’t suck anymore.
It's been exactly two years and five months from day one of my first 30 day challenge and two months since my new years resolution. Has all the hard work paid off? Unfortunately I can’t truly answer that, because I don’t feel like my hippy journey is over. But I do know that I am a much happier, healthy more energetic me and I don’t think being a Hippie sucks anymore! The changes I have made in my diet, have not only allowed me to better my health, but also my self-confidence, mental clarity, drive and ability. Now don’t get me wrong I still have down days, where I sit in front of the TV and waste my time away, I’m still rubbish at spelling and grammar (as I'm sure you can tell), I sometimes wander aimlessly around the house trying to think of what I was looking for and Yes, I still sometimes wonder if what I’m doing matters at all. But all in all, I’m an extremely much better me.

  If you’ve stumbled onto this page, it’s totally worth going back and reading The Beginning , The Wonderful World of IVF , Becoming a Hippie SUCKS  and then The Emotional Side of Becoming a Hippie.  
Becoming a Hippeo has made me slow down (this is what I’m most grateful for). I am very much a type A personality and most of my life I have been in a hurry. In reality I haven't totally enjoyed the ride. 1: It went by too fast and 2: I don't feel I did my very best. I was simply too busy being in a rush to do it right. I now have taken away all the expectations in my life and try to enjoy the day by day (more on that subject later). Living day by day, is brilliant. When I go to sleep at night I can look at my day and be grateful for all that's surrounds me and then I get to look at tomorrow with the blank slate and be excited for what I can create. And that folks is a bunch of BS- TRY was the key word.

I wish I was there mentally and emotionally- at a place where I could easily switch off to what was happening. But I still find myself worrying about, that which I cannot control. (I'm still working at it - remember I'm something like a hippy.) With all things good- it takes time, practice and dedication. Clean eating, yoga, meditation, mentors and support through books and podcast (more on that subject here and here), have all helped me become slower and enjoy every (okay, most) days. I can say that I’m more aware of my day to day life and I am truly grateful for what I have. I heard this today and thought it summed up what I have been feeling about life and taking it more slowly: "Stop rushing things that aren't meant to be rushed. If you must rush things, then rush being patient. Be so patient that your in a hurry. Enjoy the process of life." (It's off this really cheesy YouTube video)
 My goal at the start of this hippy journey was to get pregnant. That is no longer my goal. My goal now, is to have a healthy baby. I know, I know, that’s everyone’s goal- “As long as it’s healthy.” What I mean is a lot deeper than that. You could look at me and say that I was healthy my whole life, but in reality I lacked in a lot of different areas- emotional, mentality and eventually biologically. No healthy women simply doesn’t get pregnant just because- it’s NOT “Just one of those things!” My generation (and the one before and a few after) are being told that a lot of the health issues we're facing are normal (Allergies, Immune System Issues, Asthma, Arthritis, Endometriosis, Eczema, Indigestion and the list goes on) and drugs are the only path to fixing the problem. But hopefully as I have, you’ll discover that these issues are anything but normal and gain the power to understand and work towards what it is to be truly healthy, through nutrition and the support of drugs if needed (more on that subject here).
I know there are no guarantees and you can't have control over everything, but I do know that you have the power to switch gens on and off. Obviously some of my family gens have been switched off through the generations. My grandmother had 9 children (within 11 years) and my mom was the 6th and born almost exactly a year after my uncle. Because she has suffered her whole life with hormonal issues (she ended up getting a hysterectomy in her early 30's and the doctors told her, that she was lucky to have kids), I'm lead to believe that maybe my grandmothers body wasn't quite ready to create a fully healthy baby. Considering I was a wee little egg in my mother when she was still in her mother, I feel grateful that I'm only dealing (to my knowledge) with an over active immune system and I still have ovaries, eggs and a womb at the age of 33. Now at the end of the day, even though my mom and I both have had issues, we both feel it's not been the end of the world. But they are issues I wouldn't wish on anyone- I do not want my children (or anyone else’s children for that matter) to have to go through life with switched off gens. I'm now trying my very best to make sure that they have the best chance, they can possible have. This means, switching back on whatever good gens my family has to offer (through nutrition) and to help educate parents and careers on how to do the same! 
I’ve learnt that becoming a Hippeo is a never ending journey (it totally would be so much cooler with Falkor the Luckdragon); the moment you think you've made it to the end, you realise you’ve got a long way to go- emotionally, physically, spirituality and biologically. But as much as being a Hippeo may be a major inconvenience, there's no going back after all is said and done. I hope to find a nice balance in my life of good and bad- I'll forever be working on not hanging out with Mr. Rumination, give in to a piece of cake every once in awhile and red wine is still my best friend. But bone broth, liver and meditation are here to stay.
Am I ready for the next step?
If you mean the next step being: Am I ready to pump myself full of drugs, have a bunch of different people look up my vagina, endure the two week wait, only to (hopefully) have to wait another 36 weeks, which leads onto a lifetime of worrying and caring about your child's health, well-being, education, boyfriends, girlfriends, jumping off cliffs and big piles of snow and then finally getting on an aeroplane to travel the world all by themselves. NO! Seriously- Who the duck is ever really ready for that? But if you mean: Doing what needs to be done and if we’re lucky enough- helping to love and guide another human through this crazy world. Then YES, totally.

How I became a modern day Hippie or something close to it: The Pregnancy

Side Note:
I find myself needing to explain a few things that you may be questioning (If you have no questions, stop reading):
1: “You’re a Hippeo now, why are you using drugs?” Answer: As much as I believe in nutrition and healing the body with natural remedies, I don't know when or if my over active immune system will ever quite the duck down. And let's be honest that might not only be the only issue. Also, we've got four little monsters on ice and I cannot leave them. The immensely sad part from me, is that it's their lives that are at stake and because of that I am trying to do everything I can to help them survive; through nutrition and drugs.
2: “Why not adopt?” Answer: We all take different journeys and for us, adoption just isn't the right journey for now (that's not to say that we'll never go down that road). Also, adoption isn't as easy as many people think it is- emotionally and financially. Just like IVF, there are no guaranties.

So that's it, that's my very condensed down version of how I became a Hippeo. Thank You so much to all my family and friends, for the continued support- it's been an amazing journey! If you'd like any support in your own journey or have any questions, please  feel free to get in contact.
A group for women and men looking to gain knowledge
and support about health and wellbeing during their infertility journey.

Other great post about my journey -

If you'd like any support in your own journey or have any questions Let's Talk
 Please remember that this is simply my story and what I have gone through. These are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. I am open to change, challenges and new scientific developments. What works for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor and all medical advice, should be gotten from a qualified professional. If you feel like your doctor isn't reading from the same nutrition and lifestyle book as you are (or want to be), go find one that is!

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